Messing With The Witches Brew

Sometimes, you need to be your own best friend. You know? You're the only one sitting within your head, and really you're the only one capable of making a change, of understanding....and a good look in the mirror is needed, and a strict talking to.

I have done this.

For 12 years, I've had a bit if an issue with January. It's not the sweetest of months for most of us is it! Along with the post Christmas blues, and the drained finances, the skies are dark, the rain persists.....

....and we are forced to settle back in to life without mince pies and Nat King Cole. 

January for me, also brings the anniversary of the very saddest day of my life. Understandably, in the early days, the date would approach and I'd be consumed with memories and sadness, and dread the date. The date would arrive and I'd be inconsolable, and then it would pass and the weight would be somewhat lifted for another 11 months. January was a looming storm for me always since then. 

I'd tell people....."oh I'm no good in January"....."I'm best left alone in January", and then I wondered if in fact I was talking myself in to these feelings of glum. Perhaps I was conjuring up stormy skies and howling winds and terrible black days with my witches wand.....adding long ago memories and hurt to the cauldron with a splash of tears and a dollop of grief, stirring the pot and convincing the world and myself that nothing but bad and evil would be derived from my concoction.

So I had a word. I decided to be my own best friend, and throw a different perspective on this 'thing'. I didn't have to make it this way. I could find good things to do in January, I could find a reason to be thankful and excited. I could busy myself, so that there was no time for spell making and cauldron stirring. 

I've made moves on a few things.....

I hopped on the #crochetmoodblanket2014 bandwagon, and I'm making a crocheted square a day for the whole of 2014.....

....colour according to mood, and it's good therapy! 

I went wool shopping, drew up a colour mood chart in a new notebook....

....(a new notebook is happiness in itself), trying to incorporate all the moods in my moody spectrum. 

Every night, I have to evaluate my day, decide what my overriding mood was, and although my family teased that it would be dominated by black, I've yet to stitch a black day! 

This is good! It's rhythmic, it's calming, and it's reflective. I like it.

I'm also attempting to complete a '100 Happy Days' project, photographing something that made me happy and sharing it on Instagram every day for 100 days. 

I struggled a little yesterday, but then realised there was happiness all around me. Just being home makes me happy...

Time spent with my eldest daughter...

Walking in new shoes....

Reading in the evening...

Hand written letters....

Time to bake bread....

It again is reflective, it's a focus on positives, not on the rolling clouds of thunder and doom.

So in summary, I'm really good! This is the sweetest January I've known in a very long time. I know the date I've loathed is approaching, and that's ok. I don't HAVE to follow the traditions I manufactured all by myself....I can make new ones. It just takes a little effort, and thought, and planning, and perspective. It's January. I am happy! 

And I remember, as always, my son Elliot.